


If I lay Here

by beyourhero



Series: running from the ashes we left [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Established Relationship, Heart Break, M/M, POST 115, Sad Ending, Tea Shop Owner Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), but not really its more like a continuation, but there'll be a last part, ghost au, now it will become a
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 00:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18680596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyourhero/pseuds/beyourhero
Summary: His eyes brimmed with tears when he spotted him through the windows. He hadn’t changed much, but at the same time, he was different. Although the scars didn’t fade, only uneven rosy and white-ish lines remained. Levi kept his right eye uncovered, but he wore some kind of prosthesis for his two missing fingers -no doubt. Hange’s doing-. But apart from that, he was just the same. With more wrinkles and greys, but his clothes were pristine, and instead of his cravat, he had added an apron to his attire.Levi looked as beautiful as ever.





	If I lay Here

**Author's Note:**

> hey, y'all! as promised, this is the next part of this little series!  
> I originally wanted this to be the end, but I thought, eeeh, a last part with a happy ending would be good, so yeah, there will be another and final part.  
> Thank you all so much for the comments and kuddos in the last two installments! I hope you also enjoy this one!!!  
> As always, english isn't my first language and this piece was unbeta'ed.

The war was finally over, but it had been for almost four years. Nations stopped fighting when their common enemy threatened their complete existence. Marleans and Eldians became improvised allies, the other countries followed their lead, and soon enough, their leaders prepared a plan to destroy the Yeager brothers.

Yeah, Eren Yeager was a legend, a myth, he was feared, and only a small group still admired him.  The destruction he had brought upon hundreds was worth it, in the end, that fatidic act saved thousands of hundreds of people. With the power of the Founding Titan, Eren destroyed the walls that “protected” the eldians, finally giving them the freedom that he had longed for so long. But, it wasn’t easy, the sacrifices were enormous, and to achieve a true era of peace without the threat of the Titans, he had to exterminate them.

And so he did. He fought against the Titan shifters, obtaining their powers, except for Armin and Reiner, who were convinced, be it by their conviction of finishing the war or for an easy way out of this living hell, to give him their titans. And when he had to fight against Zeke, he felt a slight pang of regret. The support they had for each other wasn’t entirely a lie, but when their views collided, and Zeke refused to give in, Eren knew he had no other choice. 

And when he finally accessed the Paths, he didn’t erase the memory of the Elian’s, he didn’t eliminate them. With the help of the memories of the previous kings and queens, Eren changed the gen that allowed the eldians to turn into Titans. And in some mystic trip, he met with the first Founding Titan, breaking her curse, and learning that humanity lived in a cycle, and was destined to fight against each other again. Well, at least he would be gone before the next war.

There was only one Titan left in the world, and he already knew his fate. To complete their pact, he must die at the end of the thirteen years.

That had been his mission since the beginning, and Eren was ready to face it, albeit in loneliness. He had already hurt his friends enough.

And among the confusion and the need to rebuild their society, Eren ran away, leaving behind the life that he knew, the people that were his family, and the man that he once loved.

\- - -

 

Being the sole holder of the 9 Titans had a hard impact on his health. He could no longer transform, his body wouldn't resist it. He was deteriorating internally faster than a normal human would, making harder travel for long distances. Wrinkles adorned his face, and his long hair now he wore it braided. He was thinner, weaker, his eyes were hollowed, and the Titans marks didn't disappear at all. He looked in his early thirties when he barely reached 23.

The cold of the mountains was welcomed. He couldn't feel it, his body still ran hot, but the wetness of the snow while walking was uncomfortable.

When he crossed the snowy border between the forest and the town, Eren breathed in, deeply. He took a moment to observe the town, the houses cabin-like were illuminated and shadows danced inside of them. Families reunited at the table for dinner time, and Eren missed the feeling of belonging somewhere, of having a place to return to.

The aroma of fresh baked bread and peppermint made his stomach growl with hunger. It didn’t take him much to find the source of those aromas in a small shop painted with dark blues and huge windows. People walked in and out, with content smiles on their faces, and Eren envied them. He wished he could have half of the peace that they had.

He approached the establishment, but the breath got stuck in his throat when he read the letters painted on the windows. Teal Tea: tea shop and biscuits was the name, and it sounded ridiculous, and that had been his idea, the name that he told Hange the last time he saw her.

His eyes brimmed with tears when he spotted him through the windows. He hadn’t changed much, but at the same time, he was different. Although the scars didn’t fade, only uneven rosy and white-ish lines remained. Levi kept his right eye uncovered, but he wore some kind of prosthesis for his two missing fingers -no doubt. Hange’s doing-. But apart from that, he was just the same. With more wrinkles and greys, but his clothes were pristine, and instead of his cravat, he had added an apron to his attire.

Levi looked as beautiful as ever.

And in a moment, his gaze crossed Eren’s, and the shifter sucked in a breath, feeling exposed. But Levi’s expression didn’t change. Maybe he thought he was just another customer who wasn’t sure if he should get in or not. He hoped so, because the pulling he felt towards the tea shop, was impossible to ignore.

Another costumer caught Levi’s attention, and Eren put on the hoodie of his parka, making sure to cover most of his face. Not that it mattered, Levi would recognize him right away.

A small bell at the top of the door ringed when Eren entered the shop. Levi looked up briefly, before returning to his task of wiping off the counter. Eren could feel his heart beating against his chest, and the more he approached the man, the more nervous he got. Instead of sitting closer to Levi, he took a seat on one of the tables on the corner, keeping his head down.

“Evening, sir. What’d you like to order?” Levi greeted him, and a small sigh escaped from Eren’s lips. His voice was still smooth and soothing, just like he remembered him, and he wanted nothing more but to have him talking to him as he did before, telling him stories of his younger days when Eren could lie by his side and take Levi’s hand in his.

“I-I, ah,” Eren cleared his throat a couple of times, the lack of use of his voice caused it to sound coarse, “Black tea with peppermint, please.” Levi lingered for a moment, tilting his head, but decided not to say anything, and made his way back to the bar.

From his spot, Eren watched Levi as he moved around, noticing the limping in his walk and though his right hand moved slower, every movement was as graceful as ever. A moment later, Levi returned with his cup of tea and placed it in front of Eren without saying a word. A few minutes later, Levi returned to Eren’s table and placed a piece of chocolate cake on the table. Eren hadn’t ordered anything else, and he would probably not have money to pay for it.

When the last costumer finally paid and left, Levi moved to the door and turned the door sign over to closed. He then pulled the chair in front of Eren’s and sat down, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You look like utter shit,” Levi murmured, “you think I wouldn’t recognize you with that rag in your head?”

Eren was speechless, and he looked up slowly, letting the hoodie fall from his head. He met Levi’s gaze, expecting to see hatred in his eyes or something worse, but instead, he found warmth and the beginning of a smile curling in his lips. He stared at him and blurted out the first thing that came to his mind, “I missed you. I-I know you must probably hate me. I wouldn’t blame you if you did, for what I did, but I-.”

“Eren, stop it, I don’t hate you,” Levi quickly reassured him, “I could never hate you.”

Levi reached out to touch Eren’s face but retracted his hand when he realized the hand that was moving was the right one. Eren saw the movement, and took it between his, mindful of the prosthesis as he kissed his knuckles. “I missed you, too, brat,” Levi smiled softly, though his smile didn’t reach his eyes, “I thought I wouldn’t see you again.”

“I didn’t know I’d find you so far from the walls.”

“It’s quiet here. People don’t know me, which is also good. The neighbors know I’m a veteran, but that’s it.”

“And Hange?”

“She comes and goes as she pleases. After the war, she helped me to get back on my feet. I couldn’t stay in Paradis, so once I was strong enough, I traveled with her, until I found this place. Things have been boring, but boring is good, too.”

Eren nodded, listening attentively to Levi’s words. He was so grateful to see him again, even if the circumstances weren’t the best. At least now, Eren could go in peace, knowing that Levi was well and alive. But, for the frown in his face, he doubted he was genuinely happy.

"I like your shop. And the name."

"Of course you do, idiot, it was your idea, after all," Levi's eyes softened for a moment, but then, he asked, “Where were you all this time, Eren? Everyone thought you were dead, even Hange was sure no person would be able to hold the nine titans.”

“I had to escape. It’s… it’s complicated.”

“Try me.”

“You might not believe in magical shit, but people are connected to the same path, and if you know where to look, you’ll be able to find people from the past. It’s hard to explain, but to break the titan’s curse, I had to protect the Titans' powers.”

“You hid, then,” Levi confirmed and Eren nodded. “Then stay here. People won’t come here looking for you.”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed and stared at their clasped hands. It sounded so easy, to just stop running away and settle down with Levi, for as long as he had left. But he couldn’t, he would end up hurting Levi eventually, even if he didn’t hate him, Levi deserved a chance at being happy.

“I can’t stay here, Levi. I don’t have much time left,” he said, regretfully, ignoring the clear look of pain that crossed Levi’s features.

“You’re leaving again,” Levi stated, dropping his voice, “You’re leaving, just like you did before, when you ran away to Marley, or when you broke out to meet with your shitty excuse of a brother. You just leave and don’t care about what or who you leave behind.”

Levi’s words stung him deeper because Eren knew it was true. It wasn’t that Eren ran away from his problems, no, but his priorities didn’t quite match with what he wanted. Oh, he would’ve given everything up to have Levi, if only the weight of the world didn’t reside on his shoulders.

“When my mom was killed,” he began, disregarding how fragile his voice sounded, “when she was eaten by that Titan, I promised myself I’d get rid of them, that I’d wipe the titans off this world. And to do so, I need to take the powers of the nine titans with me. I’m the last Titan, Levi, I need to finish what I started thirteen years ago.”

“Bullshit!” Levi snapped at him, startling Eren. He was so used to the cold anger of his former captain, but see such an obvious display of anger, directed towards him, was unsettling, “I lost my family, too, and you know that! I thought it’d be enough if I dedicated my life to eradicating those fucking monsters, and guess what? My plans went to shit when you showed up!” He took in a deep breath, ignoring the burning sensation on the back of his eyes, “I trusted you, Eren, even when people doubted you when they were confident you’d betrayed us, I trusted you. Because even though you weren’t humanity’s hope anymore, you were mine!”

As Levi stood up angrily, Eren could only look at the ground, biting his lips nervously. He felt like the same teenager, chided after making a mistake. Just that, this time, things wouldn’t be fixed by a simple apology.

“Please, don’t say that, Levi,” Eren muttered, “things would be so much easier if you hated me.”

“Easier? Don’t be so stupid, Eren,” Levi replied harshly, shaking his head, “You wanna know something, kid? You were the only fucking thing who kept me sane all this time.” Eren’s eyes widened after Levi’s confession, but he didn’t say anything, letting the other say whatever he had in his chest. “After getting rid of the Titans in the island, I didn’t know what to do anymore. I felt lost, empty, until the first time you kissed me. And I thought ‘well, fuck me if I don’t do everything I can to keep this brat around after the war ends’. That was what kept me going, Eren, so don’t you dare to fucking tell me it’d be easier if I hated you, because I can’t!”

To say that Eren was baffled after Levi’s confession, was an understatement. He knew the older man cared about him and his well-being, but he never dared to believe that there was more than that. It was unimaginable the thought of Levi feeling something like love for him. But he was so wrong, he wanted to slap himself for it.

Without a second thought, Eren got up on shaky legs and went to where Levi was standing, and in a swift motion, he pulled him into an embrace. Levi didn't hug him back right away, probably shocked by the sudden action, but Eren didn’t mind. Having his warmth between his arms was good.

“When Floch told me you had died, I started seeing you around. I thought I was going crazy, I even went to Hange’s for help. Maybe, I wasn’t so crazy after all.”

Levi stiffened, and Eren thought he had said something wrong, but then the man exhaled, and said, “I-I thought they were dreams.”

Eren shook his head, inhaling deeply Levi’s aroma, “No, Levi, they weren’t dreams.” And when Levi finally hugged him back, Eren pressed his face into the other’s neck, letting the tears fall freely from his eyes.

They remained like that for a long moment, in silence, until Levi lifted his head to look at Eren. His right eye was practically closed because of the scar that covered almost half of his face, but the left one shone with unshed tears and a hopeful sparkle. “Please, stay.” He quietly said, and Eren didn’t have the heart to give him an answer, and instead, he leaned down, brushing his lips against Levi’s in a chaste kiss. It was short, shorter than he would’ve liked, but enough to carry Levi’s memory with him for the rest of his journey.

“Levi!” The sudden screech startled both men, jumping away from each other’s arms. Levi sighed exasperatedly. There was only one person who had the key to access the building from the other side, and that person was Hange, whose timing was awful, as always.

“Stay here, alright? I’ll just go and talk to her first,” Levi said, offering a small and hesitant smile to Eren. The younger mind only nodded, and when Levi moved behind the bar, disappearing through the door, he grabbed a napkin and a pen and wrote a small note on it.

It hurt to do this, to run away again like a coward, but he could feel it in his bones, his time was almost up, and he would hate himself if he made Levi see him as the life drained from his body.

Eren stepped outside in the cold of the night, and with a last look to the tea shop, he started walking, to never return.

\--- --- ---

“This won't be good for you, Levi,” Hange said for the second time in five minutes. It wasn’t that she hated Eren, not really, but she had seen how affected his friend had been. He only looked more or less okay when he worked at his shop, but when he closed it for the day, the same dark shadow appeared in his eyes, taking with it the little happiness that Levi found during the day.

“Just… heard him out, alright? I asked him to stay. I’m not gonna let him rot in the middle of the night.”

“But Levi.-“

“I’m a dumb shit and a selfish asshole, alright? I want him here, and that’s my last word.” With no more room to complain, Hange sighed, and followed Levi to the shop, crossing the corridor that connected his small house to the tea shop.

She expected to see Eren in the middle of the room, looking sheepish, like the boy she remembered, but there was only Levi, clenching a napkin in his left fist. “Levi? What-“ Before she could ask anything, Levi rushed outside the shop, ignoring the fact that it was already late and cold, and he wasn’t wearing a coat. Despite his visible limp, he walked fast, stopping near the entrance of the woods.

When Hange caught up with him, she noticed the fury in his eyes, that was quickly replaced with a look that was too familiar to her. Loneliness mixed with misery, a look that she knew, no matter how hard she tried to help Levi, would never go away.

“I don’t want to see you ever again, do you hear me, shithead?” Levi screamed at the woods, sure that he was heard by the same person who broke, once more, the little pieces that he had like a heart, “Just rot in a hole for all I care but don’t come back. You hear me, Eren? Fucking piece of lying shit!”

The insults transformed into soft sobs as he covered his face with his hands, and fell to his knees. Hange kneeled beside him, and carefully, circled his shoulders with her arms, letting him cry for a moment until she helped him to walk back to his house. 

Forgotten on the snow was a wrinkled napkin, and with messy handwriting, a note that read: _I’ll find you again, Levi, in another lifetime, and I’ll make it up to you for all the hurt. But in the meantime, I wish you a happy life._

O x O x O

 

Eren could only walk for another day until his legs gave up, and he had to lean against a tree. The nosebleed didn’t stop, and he was disgusted by the coppery taste on his tongue. It was time, he knew it, he couldn’t prolong this for any longer. But somehow, he only felt peace. If life was a cycle, he would meet Levi again, and the idea of being with him gave him hope in the middle of the darkness.

His eyes were heavy, and he could barely keep them open, so he let them close, starting to drift away into nothingness. But before he lost conscious completely, a sweet voice that he hadn’t heard in thirteen years, whispered, _“Eren, my boy, it’s time to wake up.”_

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kuddos fill my little heart <3  
> find me on [tumblr as miitzwrites](https://miitzwrites.tumblr.com)  
> im also on twitter and pillowfort!


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